1
00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:11,469
(phone ringing)

2
00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:12,971
Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam.

3
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:15,724
I'm sorry, he's not in yet.

4
00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:17,851
Would you like his voicemail?

5
00:00:17,892 --> 00:00:20,562
[Michael] Yeah!

6
00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:22,188
Yeah! Yeah!

7
00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:24,858
Okay. (clapping)

8
00:00:24,899 --> 00:00:26,484
12 miles an hour. (clapping)

9
00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:28,361
Eat that, Carl Lewis!

10
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,698
Angela made several 911 calls

11
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,117
about cars going too fast
in front of the building,

12
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:36,036
so the police put
up a radar gun.

13
00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:39,789
It's actually caused a
bit of a traffic hazard.

14
00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:42,876
(Dwight screaming)

15
00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:45,670
Wow, 13.

16
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,464
- Yeah!
- No, no, no.

17
00:00:47,505 --> 00:00:48,340
There was wind.

18
00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:49,591
I was just jogging.

19
00:00:49,632 --> 00:00:51,009
Dwight, there was
wind. I want a do-over.

20
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,010
No, no, no, it's
not your turn.

21
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,595
All right, 13 is the new number.

22
00:00:53,636 --> 00:00:54,679
Oscar, go ahead.

23
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,265
I want another
try. Here we go!

24
00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:59,476
(car engine revving)

25
00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:00,477
31!

26
00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:01,644
31!

27
00:01:01,686 --> 00:01:03,104
There was a car.

28
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,898
I was ahead of the
car. 31 is my new number.

29
00:01:04,939 --> 00:01:06,441
31 is humanly impossible.

30
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:08,401
Go, Oscar. 31's my number.

31
00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:09,235
That's impossible.

32
00:01:09,277 --> 00:01:10,528
Beat it!

33
00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:13,907
(bright upbeat music)

34
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:32,967
Today's a big day.

35
00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:35,136
{\an8}My presence has
been requested by

36
00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:40,183
{\an8}Chief Financial
Officer David Wallace.

37
00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:45,980
{\an8}He says that he wants to
talk about big picture stuff,

38
00:01:46,022 --> 00:01:47,273
{\an8}and, I'll be honest,

39
00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:50,443
{\an8}I have little or no
idea what that means.

40
00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:52,946
{\an8}So, probably bad.

41
00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:57,409
Quick announcement.
New year, new candy.

42
00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:58,952
Whoo-hoo!

43
00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:00,787
Okay, be careful, Kevin.
They're kind of spicy.

44
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,288
{\an8}Hot Tamales.

45
00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:03,581
{\an8}- Yeah.
- Uh-oh.

46
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,083
So, maybe just
try one at first,

47
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,252
and then if it's okay,
have a couple more.

48
00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:09,879
Excuse me, everyone, can
I have the floor, please?

49
00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:15,593
{\an8}Um, this is insanely awkward.

50
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:18,471
It's kind of the elephant
in the room, so I'll just...

51
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:23,476
{\an8}(sighs) No one has RSVPed
to our wedding yet,

52
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:24,978
{\an8}and the deadline was yesterday.

53
00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:27,522
Wait, you still don't know-

54
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:29,107
No, no.

55
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,191
No.

56
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,234
[Andy] Hmm?

57
00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:32,444
{\an8}- Nothing.
- You still don't know-

58
00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:33,486
{\an8}Why don't...

59
00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:34,320
{\an8}- Let's-
- What are you doing?

60
00:02:34,362 --> 00:02:35,405
{\an8}How about we just...

61
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:36,364
{\an8}Just have to talk
to you for a second.

62
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:37,866
{\an8}- Andy. Has-
- Ah.

63
00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:40,910
{\an8}No, no one has RSVPed,
and I don't understand it.

64
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:42,412
{\an8}And now you're shutting me out.

65
00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:44,539
You're not even listening,
and that's really considerate.

66
00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:45,665
Thank you.

67
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:46,750
- No, what I'm saying-
- No, no.

68
00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:47,751
- No, that's not-
- I know.

69
00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:49,002
{\an8}Andy still doesn't know

70
00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:51,629
{\an8}that Angela's having
an affair with Dwight.

71
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:53,465
{\an8}And it's been 17 days.

72
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,593
{\an8}I mean, eventually,
he'll figure it out

73
00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:59,429
{\an8}when their kids have giant
heads and beet-stained teeth.

74
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:03,058
{\an8}But right now,
it's just awkward.

75
00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:04,392
{\an8}How about you, Phyllis?

76
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:05,810
{\an8}We can count on you
at the wedding, right?

77
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:09,022
{\an8}Hm. It's hard for me
to say at this time.

78
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,525
{\an8}Stanley, how's it look, buddy?

79
00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:14,235
You ask me every day.

80
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,780
Well, I'll stop
asking when you answer.

81
00:03:16,821 --> 00:03:18,865
I answer every day.

82
00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:21,159
"Leave me alone"
is not an answer.

83
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,203
It doesn't help me
with my guest count.

84
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:29,167
- Jim Halpert.
- Dwight Schrute.

85
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,836
Okay. Neither of
your phones just rang.

86
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,129
- Hello?
- Yes.

87
00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:34,381
Thank you very much
for calling today.

88
00:03:34,422 --> 00:03:35,840
[Jim] Yeah. Let me
check that out for you.

89
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,884
[Dwight] Sure. We have that.

90
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:39,678
[Andy] Hello?

91
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:43,515
♪ Tea for Pam and Pam for tea ♪

92
00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:46,184
♪ Early, early for tea ♪

93
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,895
Yeah. It's really
hard to be around Andy.

94
00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:51,272
I can't look him in
the eyes anymore.

95
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:54,859
So, today, I'm just
gonna focus on his nose.

96
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,361
What do you think?

97
00:03:56,403 --> 00:04:00,198
Can we count on your gracious
presence at our nuptials?

98
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:01,908
Um.

99
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,547
Why don't we say yes for now?

100
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:17,799
Oh! "Yes for now."

101
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:20,552
Thank you. Is that
so hard people?

102
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:21,344
How about it?

103
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,891
Kevin, you screwed
this form up again.

104
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:29,561
The amount owed goes at the top.

105
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:31,229
Oh, I'm sorry.

106
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,940
I didn't realize I was
doing something wrong.

107
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:39,571
If I had, I would've admitted
it and stopped right away.

108
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:40,822
That's enough.

109
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:43,908
Because I wouldn't
want an innocent person

110
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,453
who doesn't know anything
about the form...

111
00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,583
What?

112
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:52,375
That was good.

113
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,378
It's just at the end, you
weren't saying something

114
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,547
that could also
apply to the form.

115
00:04:57,589 --> 00:05:01,051
How about, I'm sorry
I did such a Horace job

116
00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,510
filling out this form?

117
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:03,470
[Oscar] There you go.

118
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:08,767
It's just so important for
you to get your big story,

119
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,018
isn't it?

120
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,519
To edit everything together,

121
00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:14,064
to make it look like
there's a villain.

122
00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:16,441
Well, there's not
always a villain.

123
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:19,861
Sometimes there's just a
hardworking, petite woman

124
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,780
trying to make a
conscientious decision

125
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:23,990
about the rest of her life!

126
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:25,617
Too boring?

127
00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:26,493
Did I lose you?

128
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:30,080
Here? Is this what you want?

129
00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:35,335
That cannot be true!

130
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:40,965
You're going to charge me
a fee to cut my own cake.

131
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,967
Ah, no, no, no, no.

132
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,678
What I'm saying is I
want to cut it myself.

133
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:45,595
Trade seats with me.

134
00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:46,805
No.

135
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,223
I've got a better
angle on Pam.

136
00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:49,933
I can see everything.

137
00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:50,725
Please, stop.

138
00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:56,064
(spoon clinks)

139
00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,440
I need a soup spoon.

140
00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,734
Rule 17.

141
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,320
Don't turn your back on
bears, men you have wronged,

142
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,614
or the dominant turkey
during mating season.

143
00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:06,991
There are 40 rules all
Schrute boys must learn

144
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,243
before the age of five.

145
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,121
♪ Learn your rules ♪

146
00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:13,164
♪ You better learn your rules ♪

147
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:16,418
♪ If you don't, you'll
be eaten in your sleep ♪

148
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,420
(Dwight munches)

149
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:20,588
Tuna, still need
to get your tuxedo.

150
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:21,756
(Andy tapping table)

151
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:22,590
Not gonna remind you again.

152
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:23,675
Yes, you will

153
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:24,509
Yes, I will.

154
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,138
Last week, Andy asked
me to be a groomsman

155
00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:29,347
and told me that
I need to go out

156
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,641
and get my baby
blue tux right away.

157
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,061
I'm gonna hold off on that.

158
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,022
Hey.

159
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:37,939
Hey.

160
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:38,732
What's the haps?

161
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,401
(coffee trickles)

162
00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:43,236
What do you think the haps is?

163
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:45,280
Hmm.

164
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,075
It's freezing cold. (laughs)

165
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:50,493
That's not it.

166
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,162
That's not the haps.
You gotta feel the haps.

167
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:56,291
You have to open
your eyes and...

168
00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,545
What do you think
the hop is, Andy?

169
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:03,882
Uh. I was just making
conversation. (chuckles)

170
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,592
Haps can be terrible.

171
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,261
Haps can be so bad,

172
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:11,348
sometimes you just have to
look around and open your eyes

173
00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:13,141
and feel what the haps would be.

174
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:14,267
Or the haps can be good.

175
00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:15,477
But it's not. You...

176
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,520
- Okay.
- Haps can be cheerful.

177
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:19,522
Look at me.

178
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,318
Get it. Just get it

179
00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:26,738
- (Michael sighs)
- Hmm. Getting it.

180
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:27,572
All right.

181
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:31,076
Get the haps.

182
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:33,078
(sighs) How can
he still not know?

183
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,079
We can't figure that out.

184
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,246
I can't take it anymore.

185
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,998
Wait, what? You
can't take what?

186
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,083
I am telling Andy.

187
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:39,084
- No, you can't do that.
- Yes.

188
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:40,085
It shouldn't come from you.

189
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,378
Who should it come from, then?

190
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:42,962
- Angela.
- It should come from Angela.

191
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:44,297
- From Angela.
- Angela.

192
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:46,466
Are you still having
intercourse with her?

193
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:50,428
What is wrong with
you? She is engaged.

194
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,764
Did you ever have
intercourse in this office?

195
00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:56,643
Are you serious?

196
00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:59,354
(scoffs) Where?

197
00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:02,565
Where?

198
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,404
Where, Dwight?

199
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:09,322
It seems like you
already know where.

200
00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:20,750
(Dwight clears throat)

201
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:27,173
(door clunking)

202
00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:37,600
(door clunking)

203
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:47,944
(figure tapping)
(Dwight clearing throat)

204
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:54,242
(door clunking)

205
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,493
[Angela] What is it?

206
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,328
[Dwight] You've gotta
tell Andy about us.

207
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,497
That is a terrible
idea. One of your worst.

208
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,624
Get it over with, then we
don't have to hide anymore.

209
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,460
You're expanding
on your worst idea.

210
00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:05,003
[Dwight] Do you
love me or not?

211
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,755
I've already
admitted that I do.

212
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:08,882
Why do you keep
making me repeat it?

213
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:11,509
Because you're
engaged to Andy.

214
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,970
Can't we just focus on
what we have right now?

215
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,431
(Dwight sighs)

216
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,433
Aren't you looking forward
to our weekend away together?

217
00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:19,934
(sighs) I guess.

218
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:23,563
Come on. Visiting the
Quaker meeting house.

219
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,441
Tell me again about
its construction.

220
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,027
You know.

221
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:29,986
[Angela] Tell me.

222
00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:31,071
Oh.

223
00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:31,905
Come on.

224
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,949
It's rectangular in frame.

225
00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:39,788
And each beam is made
from a 40-foot timber

226
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:43,416
and fashioned from a single
oak over 300 years ago.

227
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,921
The cedar-shingled roof
is over two stories high.

228
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:51,841
The chimney...

229
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:56,554
Can you get Andy
to watch the cats?

230
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,431
Yeah. It shouldn't
be a problem.

231
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,734
(door clunking)

232
00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:15,615
Well?

233
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:17,659
Not yet.

234
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:18,910
When?

235
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,245
When what?

236
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:21,913
(Michael clears throat)
(Andy tapping pen)

237
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,123
When what?

238
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:24,582
You know this can't go on.

239
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:27,752
- What can't go on?
- We have to put an end to this.

240
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,213
Seems like-

241
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:31,548
Come on.

242
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:34,509
You guys should be
hearing what I'm saying.

243
00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:38,930
(door clunking)

244
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,515
Phyllis, you can hear me, right?

245
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:43,226
When I'm talking to you?

246
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:44,060
Phyllis?

247
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:45,895
Hello!

248
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:48,314
Oh, yeah!

249
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:51,484
Oh!

250
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:53,611
Testing.

251
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,073
This is really not how
this is supposed to happen.

252
00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:59,576
Angela said she was gonna
tell him. She's just not ready.

253
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,411
- When will she be ready?
- I don't know.

254
00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:02,704
- Is she crazy in bed?
- Yes.

255
00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:03,955
- Stop. What?
- How so, specifically?

256
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,415
Okay, listen.

257
00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:07,083
- This shouldn't happen at work.
- Eager and flexible.

258
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:08,376
- And-
- Really?

259
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:09,627
This shouldn't be
coming from his boss.

260
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:10,754
And we should also
consider the fact

261
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:11,838
that that man has
an anger issue.

262
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,298
Too late.

263
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,466
Well, it's not too late

264
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:15,300
'cause you haven't
done anything.

265
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:16,551
I am already walking.

266
00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:17,427
- Michael?
- Yes?

267
00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:18,428
Once this gets out,

268
00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:21,389
I don't know how
it's gonna go down.

269
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,141
Okay. What does that mean?

270
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,351
Might get ugly.

271
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:27,020
(sighs) Jim, this
has to get out,

272
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,522
so we can all deal with it.

273
00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:30,690
But you're leaving.

274
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,986
- Have a good trip.
- Thanks.

275
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:37,197
Andy?

276
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:38,156
Yeah?

277
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,532
Walk with me.

278
00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:40,909
Will do, boss man.

279
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:51,878
I have something for you.

280
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,506
Hey.

281
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,508
"Tatham's Canadian whiskey."

282
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,510
Yeah, I got it
on a business trip.

283
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,721
I was saving it, but I
would like you to have it.

284
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,349
Thank you very much.

285
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:05,850
I look forward to enjoying it.

286
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,018
(elevator dings)

287
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,229
I think you should
drink it right now.

288
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:10,855
This...
(Michael chuckles)

289
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:11,940
Work hours.

290
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:15,318
I think that
maybe we could toast

291
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,611
to my meeting with Wallace.

292
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:17,862
What are you gonna toast with?

293
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:21,032
Oh, no, no, no. I do
not drink and drive.

294
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,367
Okay.

295
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:26,079
Well, then, to your
meeting with Wallace.

296
00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:27,497
- To the meeting.
- Clink.

297
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,253
(Andy gulping)

298
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:35,088
- Oh.
- Little tiny buzz there?

299
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:36,715
Mm-mm.
(elevator dings)

300
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,633
- No, not yet.
- Okay.

301
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:39,843
Not feeling anything.

302
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:41,594
Oh, well, Andy,

303
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:45,890
I actually need to head
out to go to my meeting,

304
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:47,392
but I wanted to
tell you something

305
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,686
and it is very
important that I do.

306
00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:53,064
Oh. I do not have much time...

307
00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:56,526
Car's all the way over there.

308
00:12:56,568 --> 00:13:00,155
To tell you what I
have to tell you.

309
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:05,160
And just bear in mind that
when I say these things

310
00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:10,874
that are bad things that
you hear in your ears,

311
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:13,752
this is something that I,

312
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:17,464
if I were you, that I
wouldn't want to hear.

313
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:18,590
[Andy] You're not
making any sense.

314
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,968
Well, no, I'm not.

315
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,511
So, I...

316
00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:25,347
I'm not very articulate today,

317
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:27,932
so I'll just leave
it for another time.

318
00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:30,602
- Another day.
- All righty.

319
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,812
[Michael] Which will
be fine. I am off.

320
00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:34,689
- [Andy] Have a good meeting.
- [Michael] Thank you.

321
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:35,648
(car door slamming)

322
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:36,900
Kick Wallace's ass.

323
00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:40,987
Okay, I will.
(car engine revving)

324
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:43,448
Dwight and Angela are
having an affair, so.

325
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,950
I can't hear you
through the glass.

326
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,952
Dwight and Angela
are having an affair.

327
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:50,789
They've been sleeping
together for some time.

328
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,708
That was the news. I
wanted to let you know.

329
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,418
- What?
- All right.

330
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:56,252
See you later.

331
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,173
- Agh.
- Are you serious?

332
00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:01,466
[Michael] Yeah!

333
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,094
(car engine revving)
(car wheels screeching)

334
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,780
I knew something bad
was gonna happen today.

335
00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:24,948
You said that yesterday.

336
00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:26,866
Yeah, my neighbor
got murdered.

337
00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:28,368
What are you standing for?

338
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:31,079
If I'm sitting, I can't
disable his neck or his groin.

339
00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:33,123
You're not gonna do anything
to his neck or his groin.

340
00:14:33,164 --> 00:14:35,208
If I'm sitting, I
don't have the option to.

341
00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:37,127
Dwight, I'm in charge
while Michael's gone,

342
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:41,131
and I need you to sit.
(door clunking)

343
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:50,473
(Phyllis farts)

344
00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:51,307
Sorry.

345
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,939
I need to talk to you.

346
00:14:57,981 --> 00:14:59,524
We can talk right here.

347
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,609
I need to talk
to you in private.

348
00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:02,861
We're not listening.

349
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,404
Let's go to the
conference room.

350
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:09,325
Is it true?

351
00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:11,119
(sighs) What have you heard?

352
00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:12,704
That you're
sleeping with Dwight.

353
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,289
That doesn't sound like me.

354
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:15,290
Is it true?

355
00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:17,125
Andy, I'm engaged to you.

356
00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:19,961
I mean, we just signed off
on our wedding flowers.

357
00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:21,921
Would I have said yes
to formal chrysanthemums

358
00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:23,465
if I didn't wanna get married?

359
00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:25,633
And we went through all that
stuff with our wedding cake.

360
00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:27,510
Just answer the question.

361
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:29,012
Are you sleeping with Dwight?

362
00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:31,598
A little bit.

363
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:35,226
(sighs) How long has
this been going on?

364
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,686
I don't know.

365
00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:39,314
I mean, we were together,
and then he killed Sprinkles,

366
00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:41,191
and then we stopped and...

367
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:45,320
I don't know exactly
when we started up again.

368
00:15:45,362 --> 00:15:46,571
Who else knows about it?

369
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:47,489
Michael.

370
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:49,115
[Andy] Who else?

371
00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:51,868
Let me think
about it. I, um...

372
00:15:53,328 --> 00:15:54,204
They're-

373
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,038
Oh, God.

374
00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:56,873
Come on!

375
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:00,835
So, listen, Michael,

376
00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:03,254
your branch has been
doing great lately,

377
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:07,050
and your sales staff is
reporting very strong numbers.

378
00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:09,344
Outperforming last
year, in fact.

379
00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:13,390
Um, and I don't know
exactly how to put this,

380
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:20,355
but what are you doing right?

381
00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:23,608
Right what?

382
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,110
Utica, Albany, all the
other branches are struggling,

383
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:29,030
but your branch is
reporting strong numbers.

384
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,867
That sounds like a
really nice compliment.

385
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,953
- Yes.
- If I were to repeat it,

386
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,996
it would sound like
you were saying,

387
00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:39,624
"You're doing a
really great job."

388
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:40,500
That is true.

389
00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:43,253
Look, you're not our
most traditional guy,

390
00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:47,382
but clearly, something
you are doing is right,

391
00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:51,219
and I just, I need to get
a sense of what that is.

392
00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:56,266
Okay. So, what you're asking
is why am I so good? (laughs)

393
00:16:57,976 --> 00:17:01,104
How do I do what I do
better than everybody else?

394
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,566
Yes.

395
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:05,817
How often did you do it?

396
00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:07,444
You don't ask a lady that.

397
00:17:07,485 --> 00:17:08,778
How often did you do it?

398
00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:13,491
What's she saying to him?

399
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,079
You know that no
matter what Andy does,

400
00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:20,040
you have a choice of
how you wanna react?

401
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,499
Why is it taking so long?

402
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,460
Do you wanna take this
opportunity to go for a walk

403
00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:25,086
or maybe take some deep breaths?

404
00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:28,131
(scoffs) Phyllis, why
is it taking so long?

405
00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:30,216
Hm, he found out
his little angel's

406
00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:32,093
been screwing the
beet farming weirdo.

407
00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:34,346
He's trying to make it
make sense in his brain.

408
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,973
And then he's going to
come out here and kill you.

409
00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:39,601
Thank you, Phyllis.

410
00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,061
You're welcome.

411
00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,480
Standard, you
know? Nothing fancy.

412
00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:44,731
So, like, missionary?

413
00:17:44,773 --> 00:17:46,691
I said nothing fancy.

414
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:47,525
Do you love him?

415
00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:49,944
I love you.

416
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,363
Why should I believe that?

417
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:55,533
Andy, we are at
a crossroads here,

418
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,745
and we can either give in
to what people are saying,

419
00:17:58,787 --> 00:17:59,871
that we're not good together-

420
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,039
Who says that?

421
00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:03,500
Or we can prove them wrong.

422
00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:05,835
Let's prove them wrong.

423
00:18:09,464 --> 00:18:13,593
David, here it is. My
philosophy is basically this.

424
00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:18,598
I like to sell paper for more
than I bought the paper for.

425
00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:20,892
That's obviously obvious.

426
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:22,268
But here's the thing.

427
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:24,854
And this is something
that I live by,

428
00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:27,023
and I always have,
and I always will.

429
00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:31,528
Don't ever, for any reason,

430
00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:34,280
do anything to anyone

431
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:37,409
for any reason ever,
no matter what,

432
00:18:38,410 --> 00:18:40,495
no matter where,

433
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,498
or who, or who you are with,

434
00:18:44,541 --> 00:18:46,960
or where you are going,

435
00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:50,088
or where you've been

436
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:56,678
ever, for any reason whatsoever.

437
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,263
Sometimes I'll start a sentence

438
00:18:58,304 --> 00:18:59,431
and I don't even know
where it's going.

439
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,349
I just hope I find
it along the way.

440
00:19:02,225 --> 00:19:03,935
Like an improv conversation.

441
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:07,022
An improversation.

442
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:08,565
This is gonna sound sort
of high maintenance,

443
00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:10,984
but could we have it, like,
three degrees cooler in here?

444
00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:13,361
I always think better
when it's cooler.

445
00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:16,156
Here's the thing, Michael
is doing something right,

446
00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:18,199
and in this economic climate,

447
00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:20,452
no method of success
can be ignored.

448
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:21,870
It's not really a
time for executives

449
00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:24,122
to start getting judgmental now.

450
00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:25,749
It's Hail Mary time.

451
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,918
Hey, what say we
order up some pasta?

452
00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:31,588
What say we do.

453
00:19:33,757 --> 00:19:36,384
(door clunking)

454
00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:39,554
Where's Dwight?

455
00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:41,056
You okay, man?

456
00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:44,267
No, not at all, actually.

457
00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:45,685
But thanks for
asking. Appreciate it.

458
00:19:45,727 --> 00:19:46,895
You know what?

459
00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:48,063
I'd also like to
take this opportunity

460
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:51,608
to thank all of you
for lying to my face

461
00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:53,902
and not telling me what's been
going on this entire time.

462
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:54,944
You are welcome.

463
00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:58,656
(door clunking)

464
00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:02,160
Dwight.

465
00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:05,121
Andy.

466
00:20:06,748 --> 00:20:07,540
It's over.

467
00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:10,001
Good. She broke up with you.

468
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:13,088
No, it's over between you two.

469
00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:14,923
Uh, no way.

470
00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:16,591
I am not giving up.

471
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:17,509
You have to.

472
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,260
[Dwight] No, I don't.

473
00:20:19,302 --> 00:20:22,681
She doesn't love
you! She's marrying me!

474
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,099
Well, I don't know about that

475
00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:26,267
because she certainly
seems to enjoy

476
00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:28,645
making lovemaking with me.

477
00:20:28,687 --> 00:20:30,271
Angela Bernard-

478
00:20:30,313 --> 00:20:32,649
Will never be her name.

479
00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:35,902
Will be her name and you
will have to call her that!

480
00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:37,278
I don't think so.

481
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:40,407
Hey, guys. Why don't
we just cool off a bit?

482
00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:42,033
[Andy] I'm telling
you to back down.

483
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:43,201
And I'm telling you that
I will never back down.

484
00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:44,494
Then I'll make you.

485
00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:45,954
Oh, really? How are
you gonna do that?

486
00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:47,539
Through the use of force.

487
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:48,832
That is very general

488
00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:50,208
and does not scare
me in the slightest.

489
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:51,835
I will fight you.

490
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:53,503
- Nope.
- Okay, fine!

491
00:20:53,545 --> 00:20:55,088
Good! A duel!

492
00:20:55,130 --> 00:20:56,798
The winner gets Angela.

493
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:57,924
- Fine!
- Fine!

494
00:20:57,966 --> 00:20:59,259
This is nuts.

495
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,218
- What is your weapon?
- Okay, you know what?

496
00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:01,511
That's enough because-

497
00:21:01,553 --> 00:21:02,971
Hey, this is none
of your business.

498
00:21:03,013 --> 00:21:05,140
Hey, it is my business
when it happens at work.

499
00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:07,142
Guess what? Not
happening at work.

500
00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:08,560
- Yes.
- We're gonna do it outside.

501
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:09,853
- Outside of work.
- None of your business.

502
00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:11,521
None of your business, then.

503
00:21:11,563 --> 00:21:12,689
(hands slapping)

504
00:21:12,731 --> 00:21:14,524
Good. So, what weapon?

505
00:21:14,566 --> 00:21:15,442
My bare hands.

506
00:21:15,483 --> 00:21:16,901
That is stupid.

507
00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:18,403
I will use a sword, and I
will cut off your bare hands.

508
00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:19,904
[Andy] Then I'll
get something, too.

509
00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:22,490
I've had two men
fight over me before.

510
00:21:22,532 --> 00:21:25,326
Usually, it's over which one
gets to hold the camcorder.

511
00:21:25,368 --> 00:21:28,246
Okay. I'll use a
73 centimeter samurai.

512
00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:31,499
- Hmm. I don't have a samurai.
- You don't? Okay, fine.

513
00:21:31,541 --> 00:21:33,251
I'll use a two-handed
broad sword, like a Viking.

514
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:34,711
I don't. What is that?

515
00:21:34,753 --> 00:21:37,130
Do you have a short sword?
What do you have, exactly?

516
00:21:37,172 --> 00:21:39,883
Um. A 12-gauge
Citori Superlight.

517
00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:43,136
Fine. The closest thing I
have to that is a Nitro Express.

518
00:21:43,178 --> 00:21:44,512
Wait. Are those guns?

519
00:21:44,554 --> 00:21:46,264
Yes, they are.

520
00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:48,350
Andy's is for hunting pheasant,

521
00:21:48,391 --> 00:21:50,518
and Dwight is for
killing elephants.

522
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,520
Okay. Okay, we're
not doing that.

523
00:21:52,562 --> 00:21:53,980
Hang on, Pam.

524
00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:56,691
Andy, do you fully understand
that the prize is Angela?

525
00:21:57,901 --> 00:21:59,819
So help me, God, I do.

526
00:21:59,861 --> 00:22:01,363
And Dwight,

527
00:22:01,404 --> 00:22:03,782
do you fully understand
that the prize is Angela?

528
00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:04,574
I do.

529
00:22:05,742 --> 00:22:07,160
I say give them both guns.

530
00:22:07,202 --> 00:22:09,913
- Stanley.
- Darwin, baby. Darwin.

531
00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:12,874
I don't care who
Angela ends up with.

532
00:22:12,916 --> 00:22:14,584
I just wanna see one of them

533
00:22:14,626 --> 00:22:16,628
beat the crap out
of the other one.

534
00:22:18,129 --> 00:22:22,759
Unless, do you think
Angela could get beaten up?

535
00:22:23,677 --> 00:22:24,844
Yay! Toby's here!

536
00:22:24,886 --> 00:22:26,096
Yeah.

537
00:22:26,137 --> 00:22:27,889
Guys, do I have to
go over our policy

538
00:22:27,931 --> 00:22:29,057
on workplace violence?

539
00:22:29,099 --> 00:22:30,225
- No.
- Yes.

540
00:22:30,266 --> 00:22:31,768
- No, we're fine.
- Yes, you do.

541
00:22:31,810 --> 00:22:35,021
Dunder Mifflin does not
condone any activity whatsoever.

542
00:22:35,063 --> 00:22:36,064
(Andy yawns)

543
00:22:36,106 --> 00:22:38,066
We have a zero-tolerance policy

544
00:22:38,108 --> 00:22:39,901
on anything that would
endanger our employees.

545
00:22:39,943 --> 00:22:41,069
Do you understand?

546
00:22:41,111 --> 00:22:41,903
- Fine. Yes.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

547
00:22:41,945 --> 00:22:43,071
We get it. That's good.

548
00:22:43,113 --> 00:22:44,155
- Totally.
- Very clear.

549
00:22:44,197 --> 00:22:45,365
- Crystal clear.
- Yep.

550
00:22:45,407 --> 00:22:47,242
Dwight, trust you
removed all your weapons

551
00:22:47,283 --> 00:22:49,202
- from the office?
- Of course, I did.

552
00:22:50,245 --> 00:22:53,123
I swear on my
great aunt's grave.

553
00:22:54,791 --> 00:22:57,544
No grave. Fell into a combine.

554
00:22:57,585 --> 00:22:59,838
Was processed with
the rest of the crops.

555
00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:03,925
Okay. Well, I'll be in
the back if you need me.

556
00:23:03,967 --> 00:23:05,260
Great. Thanks, Toby

557
00:23:05,301 --> 00:23:06,761
- Thanks for stopping by.
- Really appreciate it.

558
00:23:06,803 --> 00:23:08,346
Thanks, Toby.

559
00:23:08,388 --> 00:23:11,141
[Pam] Angela, you have to
put a stop to this right now.

560
00:23:15,186 --> 00:23:17,439
I will respect the
results of the duel.

561
00:23:18,273 --> 00:23:19,107
Of course, you will.

562
00:23:19,149 --> 00:23:20,942
I call loser.

563
00:23:20,984 --> 00:23:23,111
I will be taking my break

564
00:23:23,153 --> 00:23:26,114
at four o'clock in
the parking lot.

565
00:23:26,156 --> 00:23:28,450
I will also be taking my break

566
00:23:28,491 --> 00:23:31,369
at the exact same time
and in the same location.

567
00:23:32,579 --> 00:23:34,164
- What a coincidence.
- Hmm.

568
00:23:43,006 --> 00:23:44,799
So, I either get more involved

569
00:23:44,841 --> 00:23:48,803
or I take a sick day. (chuckles)

570
00:23:48,845 --> 00:23:49,929
Leaving Dwight in charge.

571
00:24:02,984 --> 00:24:04,027
How'd that get there?

572
00:24:09,282 --> 00:24:11,910
There's a star-shaped thing
taped under the kitchen table.

573
00:24:11,951 --> 00:24:12,827
Thanks, Meredith.

574
00:24:31,888 --> 00:24:34,099
I just wanna sell paper.

575
00:24:34,140 --> 00:24:37,143
Why can't I just sell paper?

576
00:24:37,185 --> 00:24:38,603
So, I was in the office,

577
00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:43,858
and I look over to our
accounting division,

578
00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:45,276
and there's Kevin Malone.

579
00:24:45,318 --> 00:24:49,114
Kevin is wearing a jacket
that I've never seen before,

580
00:24:49,155 --> 00:24:51,574
and I call over to Kevin,

581
00:24:51,616 --> 00:24:56,538
"Kevin, is that a tweed jacket?"

582
00:24:56,579 --> 00:24:57,747
And he looks at me and he says,

583
00:24:57,789 --> 00:25:00,291
"Michael, yes, it
is a tweed jacket."

584
00:25:00,333 --> 00:25:02,210
And I look back
at him and I say,

585
00:25:02,252 --> 00:25:04,004
"I feel the need,

586
00:25:05,922 --> 00:25:07,007
"the need for tweed."

587
00:25:09,050 --> 00:25:11,011
It's hard to try and
evaluate yourself, Michael,

588
00:25:11,052 --> 00:25:12,637
but I appreciate you trying.

589
00:25:14,305 --> 00:25:15,223
And thanks for coming in.

590
00:25:15,265 --> 00:25:16,975
Oh! Thank you.

591
00:25:17,017 --> 00:25:18,309
Yes.

592
00:25:18,351 --> 00:25:19,686
I have to say,
I am so impressed

593
00:25:19,728 --> 00:25:21,521
with the potential
you see in me.

594
00:25:23,398 --> 00:25:24,691
- Yeah.
- Okay.

595
00:25:30,196 --> 00:25:32,157
There is no feeling
like the feeling

596
00:25:32,198 --> 00:25:34,451
of somebody who believes in you.

597
00:25:34,492 --> 00:25:37,245
In the movie "Million
Dollar Baby,"

598
00:25:37,287 --> 00:25:38,663
where would Hillary
Swank have ended up

599
00:25:38,705 --> 00:25:40,457
without that guy who killed her?

600
00:25:43,084 --> 00:25:44,669
- Okay, Angela.
- What?

601
00:25:46,171 --> 00:25:48,506
You have to put
a stop to this.

602
00:25:48,548 --> 00:25:50,175
I admit, at first,

603
00:25:50,216 --> 00:25:53,970
I was blaming you for being
selfish and dishonest,

604
00:25:54,012 --> 00:25:56,556
but then I decided to
put myself in your shoes.

605
00:25:56,598 --> 00:25:58,058
I didn't ask you to do that.

606
00:26:01,061 --> 00:26:02,729
I get it.

607
00:26:02,771 --> 00:26:05,774
You're having a hard
time choosing between Dwight and Andy,

608
00:26:05,815 --> 00:26:08,443
for reasons that you
must have about that.

609
00:26:09,986 --> 00:26:12,739
But you have to make
a decision, Angela.

610
00:26:12,781 --> 00:26:15,533
Who would you rather
go home to at night?

611
00:26:15,575 --> 00:26:18,244
Who would you rather wake
up with in the morning?

612
00:26:18,286 --> 00:26:20,080
Marriage is a big deal, Angela.

613
00:26:21,414 --> 00:26:24,209
Who do you see as the
father of your children?

614
00:26:24,250 --> 00:26:25,835
Who are you most proud of?

615
00:26:27,337 --> 00:26:31,508
Who's most accepting
of your quirkiness?

616
00:26:34,386 --> 00:26:36,262
I don't see how any
of that matters now.

617
00:26:36,304 --> 00:26:37,597
Why not?

618
00:26:37,639 --> 00:26:39,724
Two men are about
to fight for my hand,

619
00:26:39,766 --> 00:26:41,893
when it's over, I will
respect one of them

620
00:26:41,935 --> 00:26:43,311
and pity the other.

621
00:26:43,353 --> 00:26:44,813
Decision made.

622
00:26:44,854 --> 00:26:45,647
Angela.

623
00:26:48,483 --> 00:26:51,194
(door clunking)

624
00:26:52,987 --> 00:26:53,905
Come on!

625
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:55,990
Where are you?

626
00:26:57,450 --> 00:26:58,868
Let's do this thing!

627
00:27:01,121 --> 00:27:02,872
Come on! Come on out!

628
00:27:04,124 --> 00:27:06,334
I can't believe they're
gonna fight over me.

629
00:27:06,376 --> 00:27:09,129
I guess people have fewer
choices as they get older.

630
00:27:10,463 --> 00:27:11,756
My favorite kind of
movie is when two guys

631
00:27:11,798 --> 00:27:13,508
are fighting over
the love of a woman.

632
00:27:13,550 --> 00:27:15,010
I also like those movies

633
00:27:15,051 --> 00:27:16,761
where everyone's pretending
to be really classy,

634
00:27:16,803 --> 00:27:18,596
'cause it's Victorian times
and they're wearing corsets,

635
00:27:18,638 --> 00:27:20,140
but really they're just horny.

636
00:27:20,181 --> 00:27:23,143
Keira Knightley is so skinny.

637
00:27:23,184 --> 00:27:25,770
Afraid? Afraid of this?

638
00:27:28,481 --> 00:27:30,025
If Jim didn't want
me to have a weapon,

639
00:27:30,066 --> 00:27:31,943
he would've gotten
rid of all the bikes.

640
00:27:31,985 --> 00:27:33,445
(bike chain clanks)

641
00:27:33,486 --> 00:27:34,696
Come on!

642
00:27:34,738 --> 00:27:36,281
Hey, has anything
happened yet?

643
00:27:36,322 --> 00:27:37,782
- Where are you?
- Mm-mm. It's 4:10.

644
00:27:37,824 --> 00:27:39,034
I don't think he's gonna show.

645
00:27:39,075 --> 00:27:42,120
Oh, come on, man.
Believe in something.

646
00:27:42,162 --> 00:27:44,039
Come on, coward!

647
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:48,335
Does the flag of the House
of Bernard fly yellow?

648
00:27:48,376 --> 00:27:50,045
It is said that human beings

649
00:27:50,086 --> 00:27:53,798
have a fight or flight
response, not true of Schrutes.

650
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:56,843
With us, it's fight or fight.

651
00:27:58,219 --> 00:28:00,764
Only my Great Uncle Helmuth
had a flight response.

652
00:28:00,805 --> 00:28:03,058
In 1898, he disappeared
into the woods.

653
00:28:03,099 --> 00:28:06,019
In 1902, he emerged
with a small plane.

654
00:28:06,061 --> 00:28:07,187
It was a basic glider,

655
00:28:07,228 --> 00:28:09,564
cobbled together with
a spruce propeller

656
00:28:09,606 --> 00:28:12,025
and wings from a plane
another man was working on,

657
00:28:12,067 --> 00:28:14,486
but it was capable of
three-minute flights.

658
00:28:14,527 --> 00:28:16,529
After three
three-minute flights,

659
00:28:16,571 --> 00:28:19,032
he landed in a town
nine minutes away.

660
00:28:20,367 --> 00:28:21,659
And was immediately
beaten to death

661
00:28:21,701 --> 00:28:24,037
because he had landed
on a little girl.

662
00:28:24,079 --> 00:28:25,246
Where are you?

663
00:28:27,832 --> 00:28:28,625
Where...

664
00:28:34,714 --> 00:28:38,301
"From the desk of Andrew
Bernard." (scoffs)

665
00:28:38,343 --> 00:28:40,303
A note. Pathetic.

666
00:28:41,638 --> 00:28:44,516
"Dear Dwight, by now you
have received my note.

667
00:28:44,557 --> 00:28:46,017
"How are you? I am well.

668
00:28:46,059 --> 00:28:48,770
"You are no doubt wondering
why I have left this note.

669
00:28:48,812 --> 00:28:49,938
"It's come to my attention

670
00:28:49,979 --> 00:28:51,272
"that in any physical
match with you,

671
00:28:51,314 --> 00:28:52,816
"I would surely be bested."

672
00:28:52,857 --> 00:28:53,650
True.

673
00:28:54,943 --> 00:28:56,653
"The soft underbelly of
my refined upbringing

674
00:28:56,695 --> 00:28:58,571
"is my soft underbelly."

675
00:28:58,613 --> 00:29:00,699
[Kelly] There's
Andy. He's in his car.

676
00:29:00,740 --> 00:29:01,991
You guys, what is he doing?

677
00:29:02,033 --> 00:29:03,660
Why isn't Dwight
turning around?

678
00:29:03,702 --> 00:29:04,953
The Prius is silent

679
00:29:04,994 --> 00:29:07,414
if he keeps it under
five miles per hour.

680
00:29:07,455 --> 00:29:08,707
- He deserves the win.
- Yeah.

681
00:29:08,748 --> 00:29:10,583
[Dwight] "Alas, after
much consideration."

682
00:29:10,625 --> 00:29:11,626
Oh, my God!

683
00:29:11,668 --> 00:29:13,211
[Stanley] What's happening?

684
00:29:13,253 --> 00:29:15,255
[Phyllis] Andy's running
over Dwight with his car.

685
00:29:15,296 --> 00:29:16,339
Whoa! What are you...

686
00:29:16,381 --> 00:29:17,549
(car thuds)

687
00:29:17,590 --> 00:29:18,466
Hey, hey!

688
00:29:18,508 --> 00:29:19,342
- Yeah!
- Hey!

689
00:29:19,384 --> 00:29:20,343
[All] Oh!

690
00:29:20,385 --> 00:29:21,386
Come on! Ow!

691
00:29:21,428 --> 00:29:22,387
- Ah!
- My God.

692
00:29:22,429 --> 00:29:24,222
[Dwight] Agh!

693
00:29:24,264 --> 00:29:25,390
You give up?

694
00:29:25,432 --> 00:29:26,391
Never!
(chain thuds car)

695
00:29:26,433 --> 00:29:28,101
Get out and face me like a man!

696
00:29:28,143 --> 00:29:29,144
I am a man!

697
00:29:29,185 --> 00:29:31,062
I'm a bigger man
than you'll ever be!

698
00:29:31,104 --> 00:29:33,398
I would never sleep with
another man's fiancee!

699
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:34,607
You're not a man!

700
00:29:34,649 --> 00:29:36,109
You don't know how
to take care of her!

701
00:29:36,151 --> 00:29:37,193
(chain thuds car)

702
00:29:37,235 --> 00:29:39,320
All you do is dress
fancy and sing.

703
00:29:39,362 --> 00:29:41,239
♪ Oh, la, la, la, la, la ♪

704
00:29:41,281 --> 00:29:42,407
What does that mean?

705
00:29:42,449 --> 00:29:43,867
You can't even protect her!

706
00:29:43,908 --> 00:29:46,411
Protect her from
what? Bears, you idiot?

707
00:29:46,453 --> 00:29:48,705
When's the last time you
saw a damn bear in Scranton?

708
00:29:48,747 --> 00:29:50,749
Last year, idiot!

709
00:29:50,790 --> 00:29:53,168
Dwight, are your legs broken?

710
00:29:53,209 --> 00:29:54,878
No, my right one's
falling asleep a little bit.

711
00:29:54,919 --> 00:29:56,338
Andy, are you all right?

712
00:29:56,379 --> 00:29:58,590
Go away, Tuna!
I'm winning this!

713
00:29:58,631 --> 00:30:00,592
Yeah, back off.
This isn't your fight.

714
00:30:00,633 --> 00:30:02,177
Oh! How much is this gonna cost?

715
00:30:02,218 --> 00:30:03,595
(chain thuds car)
Oh!

716
00:30:03,636 --> 00:30:05,847
What? Trust fund'll
take care of that.

717
00:30:05,889 --> 00:30:07,015
- (chain thuds car)
- What did you say?

718
00:30:07,057 --> 00:30:08,475
I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you.

719
00:30:08,516 --> 00:30:09,851
I said-
(car horn honks)

720
00:30:09,893 --> 00:30:11,061
What? You stupid idiot!

721
00:30:11,102 --> 00:30:13,104
You're like a big-
(car horn honks)

722
00:30:13,146 --> 00:30:14,230
[Andy] You're like
a Sasquatch. You live in the woods!

723
00:30:14,272 --> 00:30:16,441
[Dwight] Sasquatches
are the strongest

724
00:30:16,483 --> 00:30:17,859
animal on the planet!

725
00:30:17,901 --> 00:30:19,736
So, fine, call me a Sasquatch.

726
00:30:19,778 --> 00:30:21,237
I don't get it!

727
00:30:21,279 --> 00:30:22,614
How could she be sleeping
with you this whole time

728
00:30:22,655 --> 00:30:24,324
and only sleep with me twice?

729
00:30:25,450 --> 00:30:26,743
- What?
- What?

730
00:30:27,744 --> 00:30:28,661
She's sleeping with you?

731
00:30:28,703 --> 00:30:30,372
I'm her fiance.

732
00:30:32,248 --> 00:30:34,334
She said she was
only sleeping with me.

733
00:30:44,177 --> 00:30:46,846
(door clunking)

734
00:31:04,489 --> 00:31:07,158
(door clunking)

735
00:31:17,585 --> 00:31:20,672
Yes, hi, my last
name is Bernard,

736
00:31:20,714 --> 00:31:22,257
and I would like to
cancel a wedding cake

737
00:31:22,298 --> 00:31:23,341
that I had ordered.

738
00:31:26,261 --> 00:31:30,348
B-E-R-N-A-R-D.

739
00:31:32,100 --> 00:31:34,728
Yeah, one shaped
like a sailboat.

740
00:31:36,980 --> 00:31:38,648
Yep, that's the one.

741
00:31:38,690 --> 00:31:40,775
(figure thuds)

742
00:31:40,817 --> 00:31:41,818
Thank you.

743
00:31:42,861 --> 00:31:46,156
(phone handset clunks)

744
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:03,381
Pam, may I have a
ride home tonight?

745
00:32:04,424 --> 00:32:06,051
I longer have a ride home.

746
00:32:07,385 --> 00:32:08,386
Okay.

747
00:32:08,428 --> 00:32:09,262
Thank you.

748
00:32:14,142 --> 00:32:16,644
Wow, what a day. (laughs)

749
00:32:16,686 --> 00:32:18,188
I thought I was
gonna get chewed out,

750
00:32:18,229 --> 00:32:21,483
but hold on, here's
an attaboy for you.

751
00:32:21,524 --> 00:32:22,901
What?

752
00:32:22,942 --> 00:32:26,154
Rollercoaster ride. Rollercoaster.

753
00:32:26,196 --> 00:32:27,864
Just goes to show,
you leave Scranton,

754
00:32:27,906 --> 00:32:30,867
exciting things
can happen. (sighs)

755
00:32:34,871 --> 00:32:37,040
Right here! Right here!

756
00:32:37,957 --> 00:32:39,000
She means left.

757
00:32:39,042 --> 00:32:41,920
[Angela] Jim! Slow down.

758
00:32:41,961 --> 00:32:44,297
(Angela sobs)

759
00:32:44,339 --> 00:32:45,090
[Pam] Angela?

760
00:32:47,884 --> 00:32:49,552
Listen, if you wanna talk?

761
00:32:49,594 --> 00:32:50,887
It's okay, I mean.

762
00:32:52,138 --> 00:32:53,890
Pull over. Pull over!

763
00:32:53,932 --> 00:32:54,974
Let me out.

764
00:32:55,892 --> 00:32:56,976
- But I mean-
- Stop the car.

765
00:32:57,018 --> 00:32:59,813
Okay. Is this your...

766
00:32:59,854 --> 00:33:02,565
(car door slams)

767
00:33:04,567 --> 00:33:07,404
[Pam] I'll call her later
and make sure she's okay.

768
00:33:07,445 --> 00:33:08,405
She'll hang up on you.

769
00:33:08,446 --> 00:33:09,239
I know.

770
00:33:13,827 --> 00:33:18,915
(bright upbeat music)